Brian Bailey is an active member of the Star Wars community who always has something relevant to add to the discussions/debates we frequently have. His story is personal and unique and I am so glad he took the time to put his story together to share with all of us!
Brian tweets from @ballsinplay
———————————————————————————————————————
Born in 1976, I was too young to remember the first time I saw A New Hope. My earliest Star Wars memories are seeing Empire Strikes Back in a theater with my family. I immediately empathized with Luke Skywalker as the son of Darth Vader because my dad was also the person I feared the most. He was a ticking time-bomb of anger that could go off at any moment. If we were good, there was “peace.” By “peace” I mean Admiral Piett after the Falcon jumped into hyperspace at the end of Empire. If we misbehaved, there were major consequences. Physical violence and verbal abuse were common occurrences in my house, particularly against my mom and older sister. It’s sad to say but, my dad was the villain of my world. I know now that my dad suffered from PTSD from serving in Vietnam. That knowledge doesn’t justify actions but, it has brought some healing to our relationship.
Empire Strikes Back is filled with bits of humor that maid me laugh out loud, from Leia insulting Han to meeting Yoda for the first time to Artoo getting fried because he connects to the wrong port. If you really need more examples, watch the movie again! It’s pretty self-explanatory! 🙂 Laughter is awesome. It triggers the release of endorphins which are natural feel-good chemicals. Who doesn’t like feeling good?
Playing with toys while watching the OT on VHS became an escape from reality, especially after my parents divorced when I was 8 years old. My favorite toys were centered around my fascination with Star Wars. My Star Wars action figure collection grew weekly as a reward for helping take my great grandmother shopping. I would help her get in and out the car and help her cross the street. (Now that I think of it, helping her cross the street was probably more about keeping me safe than helping her. I’ll have to remember that one for when my daughter gets older.) I definitely didn’t have all of the toys but my Darth Vader Collector’s Case was full and I did have a Millennium Falcon which was pretty sweet!
Return of the Jedi totally raised the bar of who I wanted to be as a person. Sunday School concepts like mercy, forgiveness and grace were brought to life. I was taken aback by Luke’s unwillingness to fight Vader but rather his desire to save the same man that chopped off his hand in Empire. Luke didn’t seek vengeance or justice. He wanted to redeem the man that was once Anakin Skywalker. Luke personified the Golden Rule “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” Luke had reason to hope Vader could be redeemed when he said to Leia “…there’s good in him. I’ve felt it.” Somehow I knew or hoped that my dad was sick and there was a part of him below the surface that was worth redeeming. So I chose the point of view that sees the best in people and to love instead of hate.
I share my Star Wars Genesis story to encourage others with similar backgrounds that you are not alone. Those experiences don’t have to dictate your future. You can choose a different path. Recently I began a new adventure of fatherhood. I always wanted to be the father I never had. Now I have the opportunity to be that father day by day to my daughter. I look forward to passing down my love for Star Wars someday. Hopefully her reasons for loving Star Wars will be slightly different than mine.
———————————————————————————————————-
With each new story I see shared I am reminded of the unique passion that drives all of us in our fandom. Some are driven by a sense of nostalgia, a desire to share with their children, a desire to feed their inner child, or all of the above. This deep root connection keeps the fire of our fandoms burning bright and connects us all. Thanks to Brian for sharing personal details and giving us some insight into who he is inside.
May the Force be With You
-Cody Lee-
Star Wars Genesis 